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Autism Coaching

Identity, Nervous System & Executive Skills Reset

Emotional Intelligence · Leadership · Social & Communication Skills

For Children, Teenagers & Adults

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If Life Feels Like “Too Much”, This Will Make Sense

When you have autism - or traits of autism - life often isn’t just busy.
It’s loud, bright, intense, fast, emotional, and demanding.

And after a while, something very specific happens:

  • Your nervous system gets overloaded.

  • And your best brain goes offline.


You’re still smart.
You still care.
You still know what you could do.


You just can’t access it when it matters.
That’s not a mindset problem.
That’s not a discipline problem.
That’s how a stressed nervous system works.

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What’s Really Happening in Your Brain

When your nervous system feels safe and steady, you can access:

  • Clear thinking

  • Planning and problem-solving

  • Emotional control

  • Social understanding

  • Perspective

  • Presence and leadership

This is your higher brain online.​

When your nervous system feels overloaded or stretched:

  • The brain shifts into survival mode

  • Energy moves away from thinking and language

  • The system focuses on protection, not connection

  • Words disappear or come out wrong

  • Emotions spike or shut down

  • Decisions feel heavy or impossible

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In simple terms:

Sensory overload and emotional overload reduce access to your higher brain.

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You don’t lose your skills.
You lose access to them under stress.

Why This Is So Common When You Have Autism or Traits of Autism

Research shows that many people with autism or traits of autism have differences in how their autonomic nervous system works - the system that controls stress, calm, attention, and how the body reacts to the world. These differences are linked to sensory processing, emotional regulation, and attention.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7693337/
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Studies also show that sensory overload is very common in autism and is linked to higher stress levels in the body and stronger physical stress responses to sound, light, and touch.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4861140/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9469758/
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In real life, that means:

Your system often gets overloaded faster, stays stressed longer, and needs more support to return to calm.
 

So when the load builds:

  • Sensory input feels unbearable

  • Emotions become harder to regulate

  • Your thinking brain goes offline

  • Executive skills weaken

  • Communication becomes harder

  • Social situations feel unsafe or exhausting

​

This isn’t a personality issue.
It’s nervous system capacity.

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Sensory Overload, Emotional Overload, and RSD Come From the Same Place

If you have autism or traits of autism, you might also recognise:

  • Big emotional reactions

  • Strong pain around criticism or rejection

  • Overthinking messages, tone, or silence

  • A fast drop into shame, collapse, or anger

  • Feeling “too much” or “not enough”

​

This is often described as rejection sensitivity or rejection sensitivity dysphoria.

Research links rejection sensitivity and emotional reactivity to stress reactivity, nervous system sensitivity, and differences in emotional and sensory processing, especially in neurodivergent profiles.

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In simple terms:​

The same sensitive nervous system that reacts strongly to noise, light, and stress also reacts strongly to emotional and social threat.

​

So:

  • Sensory overload and emotional overload are part of the same system

  • Rejection sensitivity is not “drama” - it’s a stress response

  • When your system is overstretched, emotional pain hits harder

  • And when emotional pain hits harder, your thinking brain drops offline even faster

​

This is state, not character.

Connection and Leadership Depend on Nervous System State

The Polyvagal Theory explains how the nervous system controls the social engagement system - the system behind:

  • Voice and tone

  • Facial expression

  • Listening

  • Feeling safe with others

  • Presence in connection

  • Calm leadership energy

​

This body of work comes from over 40 years of research by Dr. Stephen Porges.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12302812/

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When your nervous system is overloaded:

  • This system goes offline

  • Your voice tightens or disappears

  • Conversations drain energy

  • Presence shrinks

  • Leadership becomes effort

​

When your nervous system is steadier:

  • This system comes back online

  • Communication flows more easily

  • Social timing improves

  • You feel safer with people

  • You lead with more ease and authority

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The Rest and Restore Protocol and the Safe and Sound Protocol

Your work integrates two powerful, evidence-informed approaches based on the Polyvagal Theory and Dr. Stephen Porges’ research:

The Rest and Restore Protocol
This focuses on calming the nervous system, increasing recovery, and building real physiological capacity. It supports the body to move out of constant stress and into steadier regulation. When this happens, sensory and emotional input becomes easier to manage, and the system has more capacity for thinking, learning, and relating.

The Safe and Sound Protocol
This is designed to support the social engagement system - the part of the nervous system that controls voice, listening, facial expression, and feeling safe in connection. When this system is stronger, communication becomes easier, social situations feel safer, and presence and leadership show up more naturally.

Together, these approaches don’t just teach skills.
They change the state of the system that makes skills available.

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Executive Skills: Why Stress Steals Your Follow-Through

Executive skills include:

  • Planning

  • Organising

  • Starting

  • Finishing

  • Switching tasks

  • Making decisions

  • Following through
     

Research shows that executive function often differs in autism and strongly shapes daily life, work, and independence.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36590114/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30743302/

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Here’s the key point:

Executive skills are fragile under stress.

​

So when your nervous system is overloaded:

  • Planning disappears

  • Starting feels heavy

  • Finishing feels impossible

  • Decisions feel overwhelming

  • Consistency collapses

​

Not because you’re lazy.
Because your brain is in survival mode.

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The Big Shift

When you have autism or traits of autism:

  • Sensory overload = an overstretched nervous system

  • Emotional overload = a stressed nervous system state

  • Rejection sensitivity = a nervous system reacting strongly to social threat

  • A stressed nervous system = less access to your higher brain

  • Less access to your higher brain = weaker thinking, planning, communication, and leadership

  • A steadier nervous system = your real intelligence and presence come back online

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So the starting point isn’t more pressure.
It’s regulation.

This Is Where the FOCUS Method Comes In

F - Flow
We stabilise the nervous system so focus, presence, and social flow return.
O - Organisation
We rebuild executive skills so planning, decisions, and follow-through become reliable.
C - Confidence
As regulation and consistency grow, confidence becomes steady instead of fragile.
U - Unlocking Productivity
You stop fighting your brain and start moving with momentum.
S - Strengths
We build from who you are, not from masking or forcing yourself into someone else’s shape.

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What Life Starts to Feel Like

When your nervous system is steadier and your executive skills are stronger:

  • Sensory input feels more manageable

  • Emotions stay steadier

  • You can think under pressure

  • You find your words more easily

  • You follow through more often

  • Social situations feel safer

  • Leadership presence shows up naturally

  • Confidence stops being a performance

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You don’t become someone else.
You become more yourself, more often.

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Who This Is For

  • Children developing regulation, social confidence, and flexibility

  • Teenagers building identity, emotional strength, routines, communication, and self-leadership

  • Adults refining leadership presence, communication, executive performance, and burnout-proof consistency

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This work is for people who have autism or traits of autism, and for high-achievers who look fine on the outside but feel overloaded on the inside.

An Invitation

If you’re ready for coaching that brings together nervous system regulation, executive skills, emotional intelligence, leadership, and communication through the FOCUS method - and that integrates the Rest and Restore Protocol and the Safe and Sound Protocol based on Dr. Stephen Porges’ work - you’re in the right place.
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Enquire About Coaching

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