Updated: Jan 8
Why are some people confident and some others not?
Self confidence is a skill of believing in yourself becoming the person you aspire to be and achieving what you desire. Self confidence is different than self esteem and self worth but if someone loves and respects themselves, therefore having self esteem and self worth, then it is easier for them to have more self confidence.
If self confidence is a skill versus a gift, it means that self confidence can be trained.
Here is how:
1. You cannot expect yourself to be self confident without practice. If you are familiar with the 10.000 hour rule, you will know that repetition over time builds competence and confidence. It is your ability to practise over and over again (ex. 10.000 hours) and persevere despite the challenges along the way that will help you increase your self belief. No-one will believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. Take more action in order to gain more experience and you will have more opportunities to increase your self belief over time. Confident people don't fail but discover many ways that don't work fast and change approach. They also interpret feedback how they choose to reframing it in a healthy and positive way without considering it a personal attack.
2. Monitor your negative self talk. Human beings need to be consistent with their self image. Our self image is built throughout our life and especially throughout our childhood. If you think of yourself as a procrastinator, for example, you will act like one. You need to erase all conditioning and false stories about yourself and create new ones. We have so many people who tell us we are not good enough. What do we say it to ourselves? Thoughts and feelings influence our actions. How are you going to take action if you think negatively or feel blocked? Will you see more or less opportunities when you act according to your old self image? List all your present and past success stories and personal attributes you are proud of. Look at them and read positive self affirmations every morning and evening. Get away from the people who will tear you down. There are enough of these.
3. Be proud, appreciate and love your mother and father. Also, direct your attention to what you are grateful for. Create a gratitude routine, such as a gratitude journal or scripting and add it to your morning and evening routine. When you are grateful you cannot worry. Be grateful for all life experiences, perceived setbacks or 'failures'. Set intentions of where you want to go daily using your intuition, visualise the manifestations you desire and shift your focus to what you want to create. Change your physiology and your focus and know that whatever you focus you will find. Ask yourself high quality questions because lousy questions create lousy states, change your questions and change your life. Detach yourself from people who ask lousy questions.
4. Create momentum. Momentum is the opposite to the state of inertia (feeling stuck and frozen) and it requires you to take action and do the next thing. Please remember to be in a positive or passionate state when you make decision, because this creates a biochemical change. Be mindful of how you feel.
5. Love your inner child and be proud of yourself. Heal childhood wounds and ditch the victim mentality. Victim mentality is weak, depending on other people, vampire energy. Last, protect and increase your own energy.
'Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarised in 4 Cs. They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe is a thing, believe in all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.'